As I continue working with my children I begin running through my head all the reasons why I am having such hard time getting them to just understand as well as where the headache came from.  Maybe it was because,  regardless of what I said to my children they just didn't seem to understand me.  Or should I say they just didn't listen...

It just felt like it was one of those days where if I pushed through it, it would only make it worse.  However I continued to push through anyway.  I wanted to make sure we stuck to the schedule and keep things going as if we were in the class room with the exception that we had more time.

When it was all said and done, the children finished their work but it was already 5pm and it was time to cook dinner.  By this time they went from complaining about the school work to complaining about being hungry and not being able to do what ever it is THEY want to do. 
I am sure some of you can relate to this. 
Here is the thing though.  It took for me to go through all of that (multiple time) and be, well plainly put, MISERABLE to realize that I was part of the problem.

You see, when we first started out with home schooling, I had these fairy tales ideas of how everything was suppose to go, look and feel.  My children would be sitting upright in their seats at the table and waiting patiently for me to answer what ever questions they may have.

Hmmm..... well that is VERY unrealistic. In fact that is not even our family.  So after venting to a friend about some of the issues that I felt we were having she helped me to realize that my children were still deprogramming.


They were still seeing things the public school way.  Which, by the way, was true because I was to the point where if I heard well Mrs. so and so said this or Mrs. so and so told us that this was the way, my head was going to burst. The funny thing is that  deprogramming is not just for the children.  It it a process that the parents have to go through as well.  Especially those of us who want to do everything right and stick with the books as to be sure we don't leave anything out of there education.  It may also be for those of us who are fearful about messing up their education instead of helping them. 

So after this discovery I began to look at their school work through a different lens and take a different approach.  I continue to use the same curriculum, I still have the room set up the same way, but because I took a step back to better look at the situation I am able to focus on them enjoying learning instead of focusing on getting it correct the first time or completed and staying on task.  I took a step back took a deep breath and just let go and let God.

It is because of Gods love and guidance that I was led to home school so why would I do it any other way.  With this new mind set I was able slow my mind process and accept that fact that every day will not be completely finished the way the book says or maybe at all.  I realized that many times we took the lesson to the store with us or on a weekend trip with out even trying to.

So now when I feel myself trying to follow the book word by word or when my children start getting that blank stare or far away look with a frown I know that I am falling back to my old ways.
I will admit that this deprogramming process is just as hard for me as it is for my children.  I know some days just like them I just want to pull the covers over my head and pray that it is Saturday.

So with a renewed mind set and constant reassurance from my husband and of course God I continue on.  With God leading me I continue to encourage our children to do their best each day.

Sterling College
Truth be told God warned me not to add anything to my schedule this year anyway, and I am beginning to see why.  It will take us the entire year for us to get to a point of normalcy in our schooling as well as our new lifestyle.

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